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Great Books!

"Coming Apart:Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours"
MORE INFO / PURCHASE

"Mars & Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After A Painful Breakup, Divorce, or Loss of A Loved One"
MORE INFO / PURCHASE

"Healing a Broken Heart: A Guided Journal Through the Four Seasons of Relationship Recovery "
MORE INFO / PURCHASE

MORE Books...

This link will take you to the books on divorce and loss that I highly recommend.

 

Making the Transistion Go Easier

Ways We Push Love From Our Life

Ways to Self-Nurture

Creating A Comfort List & Pleasure Program


"Coming Apart"

"The Roadmap to Forgiveness"

"Mending Your Broken Heart"

Strengthening the Over Sensitive Heart

 

 

 

From the Heart Media Television Shows and videos developed by media psychotherapist, interviewer and talk show host, Sheri Meyers Gantman, to facilitate personal growth and improve your health and relationships. Straight from the Heart TV
Sheri Meyers Gantman - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
 
 

As a relationship expert and therapist, I have been asked to answer a lot of questions about relationships over the years. Most of the questions and concerns that are being expressed by my viewers and web site visitors are on topics that I think have universal interest. That's why I've decided to share some of these questions and my answers with you. Here's a forum in which you can help each other and be heard. If you have any experiences that you would like to share or comments to add to what has been written, I will post them here. Also, if you have any questions or concerns that you would like addressed, please email me and I will answer you on site.
(Disclaimer and Terms of Use)

"Coming Apart"



Dear Sheri,

I saw your show, "Coming Apart" and wonder does everyone eventually recover from a loss? I was married for 15 years to a  successful, professional man whom I dearly loved and trusted.  Two years ago, he announced that he wanted his freedom so he could marry someone else.  I was devastated!  I still haven't recovered.   I feel like something in me died.  I don't know if I can ever trust a man again.  My friends and family say, I should get over it already and move on. I'm not so sure I can. Will I ever get over this?

Jackie in Van Nuys


Dear Jackie,     

I hear how your heart is breaking, but girl, you've got to move on!  It may be the death of your marriage, but don't let it be the death of YOU.   If this relationship has been your security blanket and being "Mrs. So and So" gave you a sense of structure, footing and value in the world, then this 'abandonment' may leave you feeling like your feet are in the air and there's nothing to lean against.  What hurts the most is not facing the loss of HIM, as much as the loss of your own identity.

Believe it or not, intense grieving is one of the natural stages you must go through in the process of healing.  However, staying stuck and isolated in your pain is a sure-fire way to avoid change and to stay a victim.  You mentioned that your friends are saying you should move on. It's probably because they see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that  on the other side of grief, is a new beginning.As you let go of the old ways of how things used to be, you'll make room for all the new experiences and discoveries that lay ahead.This is an opportunity to be the architect of your own choices and rebuild a new and improved life.  There are parts of you waiting to be rediscovered that got 'mislaid' during your marriage.    I have counseled hundreds of women who also believed they'd never get through it, who now, actually thank their husbands for leaving.  Rather than focusing on the loss of HIM, it's time to refocus on the RESURRECTION of your SELF. 

Obviously Jackie, it takes time to heal. Read the articles listed under the Related Links on the side of this page. I've also listed some books that can help make the process go a little easier. Good luck.

Sheri


The 'Ask Sheri' advice column, is made available for the sole purposes of providing general information and education and is not meant to serve as a substitute or replacement for therapy.



"Divorce is hard on everyone, including guys. I was divorced 5 years ago and am still recovering. I'm dating, but that's it for me. I don't think I will every marry again or let any woman in too close.. Not sure I can ever trust a woman again." Bill  Encino, CA

"I thought I'd never get through my divorce or make all the adjustments to single parenting and single life. But I did. My ex and I had a messy divorce but we spared the kids and I'm glad we did. I still don't like him much but I didn't get in the way of my kids relationship with him. In fact, my kids now have a better relationship with my ex than they ever did when we were together. He is spending quality time with them without relying on me to be the activities director. I also get some quality time alone without them which I desperately need. I think what I want to tell you is...no matter how bleak it may seem right now, you'll get through it and there IS sunshine at the end of this tunnel. Sooner or later, it all works out and all the pieces fall into place." Good luck!" Suzi  Los Angeles, CA

"I don't get your show, but I love your web site. I'm writing in response to "Coming Apart." and to tell your readers that there is love and life after a love has died! I met a great guy. I am madly in love and this relationship is the best one yet. After my last break-up, I remember laying in bed, crying--night after night, thinking I'll never love again. I admit, I had to do some serious work on myself for awhile learning about why I pick the men that I do. And just when I was ready to accept "Ok, I may be alone for the rest of my life" in walked John. I'm happy to say he was worth the wait and the work and the losses that I had to go through to get ready for him. Because this guy is like winning the million dollar lottery." Bettye  New York, NY 

"Divorce sucks!" Paul  Santa Monica, CA


If you have questions or concerns that you would like addressed or comments for those who have written in, please click here to email Sheri

If you want to browse Sheri's "Ask Sheri" question archive click here.

 

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