As a relationship expert
and therapist, I have been asked to answer a lot
of questions about relationships over the years. Most
of the questions and concerns that are being expressed
by my viewers and web site visitors are on topics
that I think have universal interest. That's
why I've decided to share some of these questions
and my answers with you. Here's a forum in
which you can help each other and be heard. If
you have any experiences that you would like to
share or comments to add to what has been written,
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" When Does Debting Become
an Addiction?" |
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Dear Depressed,
Based
on what you have described, it sounds
unlikely that your husband will alter
his habit of impulsive spending and running
up debts without some sort of intervention.
Simply putting him in charge of paying
the bills will not be enough to curb this
tendency. Unless this habit is confronted
and dealt with, it is highly probable
it will continue to the detriment of your
entire family. The disease of addiction
can manifest itself in various ways. Be
it drinking, gambling, overeating, overspending,
etc., addiction exhibits itself through
poor impulse control, dissociation and
an unwillingness to see the damage one's
actions cause. Unfortunately, addiction
rarely, if ever, simply goes away. It
must be actively confronted and treated.
There
is a great deal of literature on the psychology
of compulsive spending, as well as, effective
therapies and 12-step programs. I recommend
you take some time and read up on the
subject, attend one of the many support
groups dedicated to helping the loved
ones of compulsive spenders, and then
decide what is in the best interest of
your family. There are some links to books
I think you'll find helpful on the side
of this page. In most cases, it is rare
for the person to stop all on his own
unless confronted with a major catastrophe...
and even then, they often fail to change
their habits. I encourage you to do some
research on the subject and consult with
a a financial counselor, as well as, a
specialist in the field of addiction.
All
the best,
Sheri
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