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Here are some books that you may find helpful....


"Seven Stages of Money Maturity"
George Kinder

A Currency of Hope
Debtor's Anonymous

Overcoming Overspending: A Winning Plan for Spenders and Their Partners
Olivia Mellan

Letting Go of Debt: Growing Richer One Day at a Time
Karen Casanova









Click this link to see MORE questions and answers


From the Heart Media Television Shows and videos developed by media psychotherapist, interviewer and talk show host, Sheri Meyers Gantman, to facilitate personal growth and improve your health and relationships. Straight from the Heart TV
Sheri Meyers Gantman - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

As a relationship expert and therapist, I have been asked to answer a lot of questions about relationships over the years. Most of the questions and concerns that are being expressed by my viewers and web site visitors are on topics that I think have universal interest. That's why I've decided to share some of these questions and my answers with you. Here's a forum in which you can help each other and be heard. If you have any experiences that you would like to share or comments to add to what has been written, I will post them here. Also, if you have any questions or concerns that you would like addressed, please email me  and I will answer you on site. (Disclaimer and Terms of Use)

" When Does Debting Become an Addiction?"

Dear Sheri,

My husband has terrible spending habits. He takes out loans and continually borrows money. In the end, his story is always that he was not thinking and that he is sorry. He promises that from now on we will work together, but soon after he repeats his actions.

We share the bills, but I am the only one saving. I have decided that he will pay all the bills by himself since he can not appreciate my help. I know that because of his spending habits and loans it is going to be difficult for him, but I can not think of anything else to do and he seems unable to change. We have a child and seem not to be moving forward. What can I do?


Dear Depressed,   

Based on what you have described, it sounds unlikely that your husband will alter his habit of impulsive spending and running up debts without some sort of intervention. Simply putting him in charge of paying the bills will not be enough to curb this tendency. Unless this habit is confronted and dealt with, it is highly probable it will continue to the detriment of your entire family. The disease of addiction can manifest itself in various ways. Be it drinking, gambling, overeating, overspending, etc., addiction exhibits itself through poor impulse control, dissociation and an unwillingness to see the damage one's actions cause. Unfortunately, addiction rarely, if ever, simply goes away. It must be actively confronted and treated.

There is a great deal of literature on the psychology of compulsive spending, as well as, effective therapies and 12-step programs. I recommend you take some time and read up on the subject, attend one of the many support groups dedicated to helping the loved ones of compulsive spenders, and then decide what is in the best interest of your family. There are some links to books I think you'll find helpful on the side of this page. In most cases, it is rare for the person to stop all on his own unless confronted with a major catastrophe... and even then, they often fail to change their habits. I encourage you to do some research on the subject and consult with a a financial counselor, as well as, a specialist in the field of addiction.


All the best,



Do you have any suggestions, comments or feedback on this topic? Please send them to me and I will post them here.





If you have questions or concerns that you would like addressed or comments for those who have written in, please click here to email Sheri




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