Bruce Brander What is 'REAL' Love?

"Falling in love in nothing. Rising to love is everything." Bruce Brander

An anthropologist studying the Hopi Indians once asked a tribesman why so many of their songs were about rain. The Hopi man answered, "Because rain is scarce." Then he asked, "Isn't that why so many of your songs are about love?"

We think about love, talk about love, dream about love, read about love, and yes, even sing about love. We search for it, yearning, hoping, longing for lasting bliss. We feel that love is OUT THERE somewhere and we just need to find the "right" person and then love will prevail. Yet, all too often, we end up frustrated and disillusioned when our experiences fall short of our hopes and intentions. Unfortunately, many of us have not learned how to make our love succeed.

According to my guest, Bruce Brander, the failure in most relationships is due to our getting stuck in a consumer stage of love also known as, the romantic stage of love. It is this kind of me-centered love " I want, I need, therefore, I love" that fuels passions in the beginning but almost always guarantees failure over the long term.

To make lasting love grow we need to aim as high as possible in generosity, honesty, compassion and greater patience. As we become sweeter, kinder, more giving people in our lives, we will attract in and grow better relationships. When our relationships move to we-centered love, where the other's welfare and happiness is as important as our own, safety, trust and REAL love flourish.

Remember: Romantic Love loves because. Higher love, loves although.

For several decades Bruce Brander has been an international journalist and independent scholar. He has worked on the staffs of newspaper in New Zealand and the U.S. and was a writer and editor for National Geographic. He is author of six books on travel and social philosophy. His latest book, "Love That Works: The Art and Science of Giving" has been a work in progress for over thirty years. According to Bruce, anyone can have successful and fullfilling love relationships by rising to higher levels of love. Bruce lives in Colorado Springs with his wife and their four children.