"Yearner's & Protectors"

"Yearner's & Protectors Attraction"

"Talking It Out"

"Effective Communication"

Yearners & Protectors Article

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Donna Goodman Yearners & Protectors Talking It Out

"Here's a secret. No matter what the issue is that you find yourself fighting over: sex, money, kids, time together, chores, the bottom line of all struggles is that we don't feel loved or understood by our partner."

Yearners & Protectors

Did you know that within us there are two powerful, opposing forces? One force is our urge to be attached and connected to a reliable source of love and comfort. The other force is our inner drive to be separate and independent. So, what happens to these two forces when we fall in love? 

In a healthy, evolving relationship we work to be close and achieve union without losing our individuality and separate needs in the process. Yet many of us, fall into unconscious patterns ofrelating that sabotage our ability to obtain the intimacy we desire.

See if you can find which pattern is more like yours:

Some of us may find ourselves pursuing our partner's attention, making their needs the MOST important thing in our life, blending, complying and giving up more and more of our SELF in order to be loved. (Thus losing our individuality and self-love). 

While others of us, tend to feel swallowed up or inhibited in relationship and pull away from closeness by being very busy and involved in many activities. (Thus, denying our needs for closeness and love). 

The interesting thing is that these two people usually end up in a relationship with each other and invariably become locked in a closeness/distance power struggle. One continually feeling hurt and abandoned while the other, continually feels guilty and smothered. 

Can you relate? Well, help is on the way.

On our show you’ll learn....

	If you are a Yearner or a Protector
	Clear ways to identify and understand these patterns and how they operate in your relationship
	Where and how these patterns began
	What's really happening during dating and when you fall in love
	The common roadblocks to intimacy and what you can do about them

All of us hunger for a love that will stay intimate and secure, and yet that also encourages our individual fulfillment. Tune in and find out how you can maintain your "I" AND belong to a "We." 

Talking It Out

Conflict occurs in all close relationships. Simply defined, a conflict is a difference in what two people need, want or think. Since we are different from each other, it is inevitable that any two people will come into conflict. 

Here's a secret. No matter what the issue is that you find yourself fighting over: sex, money, kids, time together, chores, the bottom line of all struggles is that we don't feel loved or understood by our partner. It is not the conflict itself but how we handle it that creates difficulties. So what can you do? Learn effective skills to communicate your thoughts, feelings and needs so they can be heard.

In our show, Donna Goodman and Sheri Meyers Gantman role play different kinds of communication issues and sure-fire communication techniques you can use anytime, anywhere to help you get what you want. It's time to rekindle the fires of romance and intimacy and open the door to a more loving and nourishing relationship with Straight from the Heart's "TALKING IT OUT."

Donna Goodman is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist with a private practice in Woodland Hills and Westlake, CA. In her thriving practice she works with couples, individuals, families and children. She is a certified play therapist and hypnotherapist. She certainly knows the ins and outs of intimacy having been married for over 30 years. She is currently finishing a book with co-writer, Sheri Meyers Gantman on the subject of Yearners and Protectors.