The most basic and precious
tenet of self nurturing is to take time for
yourself. Taking time off allows you to be more
efficient when you return to the task at
hand. Relaxation is not a treat, it is necessary
for your physical and emotional health. And
if you value your time and set limits on
what you do for others, others will value your
time and treat you with more respect. How many
times do you feel frustrated because you are
unable to find the time to do the things
that are important to you?
Remember. You are in charge
of your life. It may not always seem like it,
but you do choose to be too busy or to be bored.
I know that may not be a very comforting
thought, but it is liberating one. Try to
find the time to care for yourself. Make it
a priority. Self-care will enrich your
You Spend Your Time: Redefining Your Priorities
Time for Your Life" by Cheryl
Take a look at where most
of your time is now going and think about
where youd like it to be going.
Consider all of these
areas of your life.
Okay, then. Now that you've
considered these areas in your life. In what
areas would you like it to be different? Answer
the following questions with the following criteria...
your "wants." Write the first answer
that comes to mind. Give yourself permission
to let your desires run free.
Your Time Priorities
What is your belief
about time? In truth, time is the raw material
you sculpt into life. Do you believe that or
do you feel that others dictate how you spend
your time? Does time feel out of your control?
Here's what you need to begin to do to take
back control of YOUR TIME.
The Time-Is-Life List
Womans Comfort Book A Self Nurturing Guide
Restoring Balance in Your Life " by
Get a piece of paper and
make three categories across the top:
LIKE ....................DISLIKE .................AMBIVALENT
Think of a typical week
in your life. Under the proper category, list
all the activities you did during this week.
For example, you might write:
Dinner Every Night
a good book
on the phone to mom
What to Do About the
Items You Dislike:
Examine the activities
you listed under
Go down the list and ask yourself, "Must
I do this? And if I must, how can I change this
to make it more satisfying or agreeable?"
Realize it is impossible to get rid of
all the disliked items on your list, but
do eliminate or transform as many as you can.
Brainstorm about how to rid yourself of these
Set a timer for ten minutes and list every
idea you can think of.
Try to keep your hand moving. Repeat items if
you need to.
Now take one action to eliminate or change a
disliked activity. For
example, you could get someone else to physically
write the mortgage check; you could move; you
could write the check while enjoying a massage
or eating lobster in the nude; you could write
an entire year of mortgage checks, address
and stamp the envelopes, and have your secretary
or reliable friend mail them each month.
. . . See? Some of the ideas are
silly, some worth exploring.
what about the activities you wrote under Ambivalent
These are probably your time devourers, simply
because you are ambivalent about them, You might
want to replace some of these with activities
you like more. Read on to find out how.
Your Peak Times as Times to Self-Nurture
Spend a few days checking
in with yourself and determining when you
are full of energy and when you're not. Learn
to protect and build on these zips of energy.
When you begin to feel energetic and creative,
nurture that feeling! Strive to give yourself
some uninterrupted, valuable time to do something
YOU WANT to do. If the phone rings, let
the machine pick it up. Tell your kids and spouse
you need an houror two alone. (Hey, I'm
a parent too, and I know how hard this is!)
It takes practice and it is not always possible
to succeed. But the important idea here
is to recognize that these bursts of energy
are valuable times to give to yourself.
some great ideas...
PHONES, COMPUTERS &
HOUSEWORK & ERRANDS
housework go. Try not to use cleaning
and straightening as a way to stay busy
and avoid nurturing yourself.
help. If you are married or live
with someone, divide up the work.
For example, you clean, do laundry, and
take care of the dog. Your partner can
cook, shop, takes out the garbage. Whatever
the specifics, work it out.
a cleaning person once a month,
even if you have to give something up in
order to have the money to do it.
do housework, or any other tedious work,
during your peak times.
your fingers do the walking. Do everything
you can on the phone.
with procrastination. Take one item
at a time and just do it.
query yourself, "Is this how I choose
to spend my time?"
After You Freed
Up Your Time, Now What?
Freeing the time and then
making sure you use it for self-nurturing are
two different challenges. There is a well-known
rule that work expands to fill the time available.
Once you make the time, you need to be sure
you fill it with comforting things. This is
especially true when you are trying to
replace Ambivalent activities with more nurturing
The Comfort List:
a list of pleasurable activities you would love
Write these bliss-inspiring ideas in a comfort
of pleasures that encompass each area of your
What is missing in your life?
What are you not doing that you wish you were?
list varied in terms of time requirements:
activities you can do in a few minutes,
a half day,
even, two days.
does not have to be made up entirely of solitary
pleasures, but some activities you should do
alone just to insure
you aren*t basing your bliss on some else*s
desires. Try to come
up with at least
twenty pleasures. This will give you
Whip out your calendar
and open it to tomorrow. Place your pleasure
list next to your calendar. Now on each and
every day, schedule two pleasurable activities.
Keep an eye out for balance. Choose
activities that are DO-ABLE. For example:
Talk to my best friend
Go for a walk
Watch a movie with friends
Attend a yoga class
Go to library and
find books on what interests me.
Get a massage.
Go to the museum
during my lunch hour.
Put on music and do spontaneous exercise
Have a nice dinner with my lover.
Notice that you can schedule
more than 2!!!
I know that there's a lot
to keep you busy here! The goal of all of this
is to make a real commitment to nurturing yourself.